Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Fisherman's Daughter...



Let me introduce you to the Fisherman's Daughter. 


I am the Fisherman's Daughter. I am cursed. 

I came to my family by the sea. Tossed in the deluge until they salvaged me. My tiny self. Only around four years young then ( I am not sure for I don't know the day I came to be). When they found me they could feel the beat of my heart and the wail of my cry as their own. I ached, they ached for me. At that moment they became my fathers, brothers, uncles. They had no answers for me. They were my shelter.

I forgot my history. I was born again, to sadness and the sea. I would live long arduous days. Working along their side as I grew. You never minded as long as I stayed out of the way. At first I fed you. Then I tossed nets and line with you. As a child I had watched, I had learned. I stayed quiet. I was never quite sure how something I hated so much could also be my home. It was sacred for me. I could never be far from the mist that would permeate the air after the ships confrontation with the waves.

And I grew, I became a woman. 

They called me a tragedy. They called me the bitter one.
I argued that I was cursed. For that is what I believed.

But they didn't care about me when one of my brothers and an uncle were taken by my nemesis. She leaped up and swallowed them whole. I screamed for her to give them back but she wouldn't return them to me. My whole body quivered and ached. Why did you do this to me!? Why have you taken from me when I have never done anything to deserve your vengeance? No Answer. 

Just memories. Memories like crumpled autumn leaves. Misshapen and fragile. Small specters of memories. Tumbling through my mind with the autumnal wind. A father and mother also lost. They are holding me fiercely one moment, only to let me go the next. Calling my name, begging me to let go. Begging me to love them. Begging me to keep afloat. And somehow I do. I had forgotten them until this very moment. When I thought I couldn't be crushed any further, she reminded me. She wanted me to feel the ache deep into my bones. And I do. She has succeeded. She has wrenched my heart fully. And now it is cold like her. As cold as the deepest abyss. 

The days go on.... I go on. She can't take anything more for me. Love vanished. I forgot to care. I forgot to speak. My family watched me. They shadowed me. Lurked over me. I wanted to hate them. Then they  brought him. He thought a lot of himself. He was like a peacock on the deck. But I forgot him too. Everyday I would forget him. He wanted me to remember, but I wouldn't.

They wanted me to remember lots of things... but I only remembered the things that needed to be done. 

Then she became angry with me for forgetting. She threw us and rattled us up and down. Hoping to shatter my resolve. I only became angry. I wouldn't let her take them. So I plunged myself into her. Cutting at her, beating her and howling at her. Then he came. He dove into her frigid  body to save me. But he wasn't aware that I was the savior. His effort was futile. He was sinking. She was trying to take him from me. We became a tangled mess of lines and hooks. Stabbing each other and losing our battle.
Mine against her. His against the both of us. All at once, we became weak. And then, I was almost terrified. I became unnaturally calm, I stopped fighting you. I stopped hating you. I would give you anything you wanted. I would even love you. I would let you love me. I would let them love me too if need be. I would give you my abyss and fill the emptiness with unimagined dreams of hope and love. I wrapped myself gently around him and kissed him. I remembered him. I remembered his smell,  the curves of his shoulders, the way his hair always curled up around his earlobes. I remembered.

And she let us go. She pushed us up and out of her swollen belly and spit us out. 
Then I remembered that she was the temple... 
 I am the oracle.
Now they are the healing waters.

And I continue to remember.



This all came by way of a magnificent dream I had. 
I am making only three... each one unique like her.
She is in a beautiful bubble glass frame. 
Hope you like her.
xo
Carrie

3 comments:

LA-Laurie said...

I love your Fisherman's Daughter, she reminds me of Cassidy. The poem is haunting but very beautiful. You are so talented my dear girl. I love you.

Faerie Moon Creations said...

She's beautiful, Carrie. You did a wonderful job. Haunting and mysterious. Theresa

Mamarazzi said...

beautiful, dark and lovely...

I just wanted to stop in, as a fellow nominee, and congratulate you on your Top Blog 2010 Nomination over on The Blog Guide.

It is a thrill to be nominated in such great company!!