Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Anthill

I am getting my mind behind the fact that we are going on a road trip in 10 days. With two kids. In the car for two days. We give thanks to the almighty creator of thy precious portable DVD player, without which we would be not only arriving to Missouri but also to the local asylum.

I want to get so much done before then, and I am waiting. I am always waiting. For more time, clearer thoughts, inspiration. You know how it goes, I am a twisted up gnarly little thing that can't seem to unwind without a little help.

On the upside today was a great day for not worrying about what I need to get done, a day where no matter what I say I have no choice but to relax and enjoy. We went to church, It was a holyday, Rosh Hashana.... Or Feast of Trumpets. Sometimes I wonder how I can believe in something yet never really feel lightened or uplifted. I think I used to be more light when I was a child........ I believe in God, I believe in spirituality. But what a about that effervescence happiness that makes your soul soar, were did all the happy believers go? Well, I certainly don't know but I am thinking that I will probably be painting or writing those feeling down soon, maybe in the world we live in and how small it is we are all so jaded, so desensitized that feeling pure unabashed happiness only belongs to the innocent. And that is terrifying since I am only 30. Almost 30..... ugg.

You know what made me smile today, curls. The Shirley Temple kind.... On my oh so cute I could eat her up, little girl. Cassidy has a way of making everyone smile, she is, what is that word...... HAPPY. Yes, she radiates it and putting those little sponge rollers in her hair last night and snuggling was so nostalgic. I could go on about the "I remember when...." stories but that will have to wait for another night of DEEP THOUGHTS by Carrie Wendt. Tehe :)

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